Understanding suicide


Posted by kvdl on October 30, 2008

X was a freind of mine. A prominent buisnessman. Unknown to everyone he developed a drug addiction, fueled by his need to cope with a high stress life. Recognising his problem, he entered rehab and got off the drugs.He attended weekly aftercare and started going to Narcotics Anonymous. 

Another success story? They all lived happily ever after? 

More than a year into recovery X hung himself.  There is no one to blame he had fantastic support so what happened? As someone progresses in addiction their drug (or behaviour) becomes ther primary coping mechanism, slowely losing any pleasure, it becomes a crutch to function in life. Alcohol for example cheers you up when your sad, relaxes you when your stressed, gives you dutch courage when you are uneasy.

   Just giving up drugs is not enough you have to learn how to live a new life how to cope and this takes time. faced with the dilemna of going back to drugs or continuing with a seemingly endless struggle,X chose death.

Addiction is a lot more complex than this but X Is an all too common scenario. X Is now a statistic, a percentage in high risk groups. that percentage point represents His wife, two young children, friends coleagues. Na members, counsellors etc

X came into my mind when I opened my eyes this morning and all the other  Xs out there struggling against a cunning enemy of life. If there is an X in your life check out Naranon

Or Alanon/Alateen

I will have a lot more to say about addiction for both addicts and their families as it goes hand in hand with suicide. In my next post I am going to talk about something often neglected living with someone who is suicidal  attempts or threatens to take there own life.


2 Responses to “X”

  1. V said

    First, thanks for commenting on my blog. Now on to this post. I have been where “X” was. I was addicted to heroin for years and years. I got into it at the age of 15 to “numb” the pain of being sexually, physically and emotionally abused by my father. I was already a cutter (which I am still trying to stop). I was also suicidal, and attempted more times than I can count. After failing many, MANY times, I started to wonder why something always thwarted my efforts to get out of this world, away from the abuse. I finally came to the realization that for some strange reason, it must be meant for me to go through the abuse. That didn’t stop my addiction, unfortunately or my death wish. I overdosed numerous times, I always tried to rationalize that it was an accident, but it wasn’t, it was my desire to die, for most of my life. The deeper my addiction got, the worse it got. Finally one day, I looked into the mirror and I couldn’t see “me” anymore. That is when I decided no more heroin. That was one of THE hardest things I have ever done, but I did it. The sad thing is, I got off of heroin, was clean and clear for what seemed the first time in my life, I ended up finding out I had leukemia 6 months later. Now I am on prescribed narcotics to control pain, I am addicted now legally. How is that for ironic. Anyhow, I have written enough. Thanks again for commenting on my blog, you write very interesting things here, I will keep reading.

  2. kvdl said

    I often wonder how I survived my own heroin addiction
    without health consequences.this body has gone through unbelievable abuse.It sounds like you got a very raw deal in life and it is amazing that you concluded that some how you were meant to go through the abuse,It makes me angry to hear your story. Faced with the prospect of my life having been a waste,I decided to make my experiences have meaning by helping others. Although I am healthy, one thing has changed, I no longer wish to die but take a more philosophical view if I were to face death my life would have had meaning and purpose.
    It is also interesting that having only recently started this blog 3 people have commented, one lost their son to heroin and you overcame heroin.
    The warmest of wishes to you.

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